.::my long journey::.

what do you think when people write no mention status and you know EXACTLY it's about you? moreover, it's not a good thing about you. and do you think you are BETTER than anyone else? please, watch yourself on mirror because you are not THAT GREAT. making no mention status is not only rude, but abusing others. you might think that person not reading yours, but not if it's on facebook when we are "friend". I know u don't like the person, it's okay, but no mention status? that is rude. plus with your comment. should i tag you now in my status, clearly that I despise your personality? you might think you are handsome/beautiful but not with your personality. I really hate with this kind of no mention status. I despise it. I know it's your facebook, but you should mind others, especially the person that you want-to-mention-but-you-don't-want-him/her-know-that-you-talk-bad-about-them is "friend" with you in facebook. I even never want ...

Finally, journal 100!!! I guess, i should have a party then. lol. why cheer up? because one of my friend told me that she feel sad (i dunno what is the english for 'miris') when she read my journal. and when i read through what i have written, i feel like "oh my goodness, what happen to my life before? do i always feel emo like that?" hahahaha. yeah, sometimes i wrote when i feel sad, not when i'm happy. because it's like a car that consume petrol, happiness is the petrol, and the car usually drink it up all until finish and when the sadness (petrol is finished) come, you share it to everyone that you don't have money to buy the petrol (i don't know what i am talking about now, so just guess what i mean by saying those and tell me what i mean by saying it in the comment section. hahahaa) so, i want to make a cheerful post now, without end up writing an emo post. lol. but i dunno how, i guess i should start practicing now, share my happiness to the w...

the title up there must make your curiosity up. everyone must be wondering, are you in a relationship? with who? when? how do you meet with your partner? and many other questions will come up. but sorry, i'm not in relationship now. but i really wanna talk about this topic tonight since it also make me soooo curious. i have so many questions about relationship. how do you know each other, how do you guys come up with the idea being in a relationship, who ask to go out first, who propose first, why would you accept/reject them, and many others. i admit it that i have never been in relationship (romance way) with anyone before, so i'm very curious and want to start mine. i don't know how people can go out together, what do you like from him/her, why you guys can go out together for many years and not even feeling bored to each other because usually in relationship you will look at each other a lot, every day, or even every time.

life is unexpected. u can dream that tomorrow you will still have the same person who greet you, but as we face in reality, your life can change in a minute when 1. you speak wrongly, 2. you behave differently, 3. you didn't do anything. and that's what i learnt. i'm afraid that our experience might be different since every person meet different person in their life or even the same person but different treatment to us. i thought that i might get along with these girls, but because of certain thing i don't know or i did not realize, it creates a distant among us, only in 1 day. in that 1 day, everything changed. we do not laugh as we used to laugh together. we are talking as if we are stranger now. even, we do not joke around to each other because everyone seems to take offensively on it.

now, i am enjoying my life, alone (?), with my laptop and phone as my best friend (currently). i miss my family, miss my friends in hometown, miss everyone that I close with before. i hope everyone doesn't forget about me. i know i should move on, but it's difficult to make a move with this big difference and hindrance. i don't know who i should go with, friend with, even eat together with. and I realize I'm a quiet person. it's difficult for me to start a conversation naturally, even to talk with stranger, i don't feel good about it. not only stranger, to my classmates are also difficult, since from semester 1 we already create a group. it feels awkward to just go into another circle. so difficult until now i stop to try. i feel like just let anyone approach me since i'm already tired to try to approach people. i know i said to myself that i like challenge, but now i'm tired, can't i take a rest? sometimes i think, people around me are selfish, the...

Firstly I want to say, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY VERY DEAR FRIEND, YU-CHANNN~ Wish you a very happy birthday, have a nice day, graduate soon, get a good job, don't lose contact with me and ren-chan, stay healthy (exercise more) hahaa because i know you are getting fatter now!!!! U even recommend me nice food with cheap price! lol!!! #justkidding and secondly, i feel grateful that i chose to go for counseling. People might think i'm crazy or what, but I do need counseling since living in foreign country feels so strange, no friend to share with, and only with my counselor, i can tell her anything i want. she looks like my sister or aunt or even friend because she treats me well. i know it's part of her job, but it's so nice for her to be patiently listen to me although i can't really speak english well. I'm not good in expressing my emotion when it comes to speaking and it's not my mother tongue. i'm so thankful of her, i hope she's not feeling tired wh...

I was hoping that next week is my free week, but it seems that assignment and final exam for spanish class choose to come in next week. i want to sleep more, i want to exercise more, but it seems that assignment always become the barrier between us *ceilee. I already planned to exercise and diet because i don't want to have more double chin and fats on my stomach. hiks. I have to go to gym and starts doing it before i feel like procrastinating it. lol. i'm hungry now since i only have snow ice cream as my dinner. hiks. i miss dumplings and wanton and indonesian food. sometimes , i feel so homesick. i feel so happy today but contrast, i feel so bad today. the good news is my debate team won the class debate. thanks to my classmate, he's very awesome if i can say it in front of him, but later he'll be big head. he did a good job, even got 5 marks, unfortunately become 4 because he exceeded the time. it's very nice to learn from him. he's very experience in publ...

I just realized today when I did group discussion with my classmates for our assignment. Before, I always thought that I can do everything, I understand everything, I'm smarter than them. In fact, they are better than me and I have to lower my over-confident, see others and look into myself and I lack so many things. I'm too proud of myself so I don't really respect others. I read Tuesdays With Morrie, and I realize, I never gave all of myself to listen to what others think and talk about. I'm lack in listening, I speak too much, and I want to learn from my mistakes. I want to listen more, although actually I want to speak more (because I'm always quiet and talk to myself and when someone ask me to speak about things, I can't stop myself to share. hahaha.) I want to change myself, I want to be more talkative, listen to others carefully, out from my safe shell, I want to express myself but not too much, I want to try to learn from others because they are more ...

i dunno why, but lately i make so many thoughts. i was thinking that it's better for me to enjoy my loneliness, although yeah i know i miss contact with people. lol. it's not that i become anti social, but now i think i will make distance between me and other people for awhile. life is not easy lately, and i have to finish my assignment, deadline is coming, and i feel too crowded also lately. i also don't have so many stories to tell about to my friends. they are still my friends , but if they forget me while i'm hibernating, it's okay, i can always find another friends. :) and you know what, i just found out that i have collection of pen drive. 2GB, 4GB, 8GB and 16GB, i have it all. hahaha. 2GB and 8GB are from my dad, he said it's better for me to have another pen drive, in case the other is lost, and i got 4GB from quiz, and 16GB because we (my class) has "a lot of" money from our tour. it's not because we make profit, but we 'give' p...