Journal 98

life is unexpected. u can dream that tomorrow you will still have the same person who greet you, but as we face in reality, your life can change in a minute when 1. you speak wrongly, 2. you behave differently, 3. you didn't do anything.

and that's what i learnt. i'm afraid that our experience might be different since every person meet different person in their life or even the same person but different treatment to us.

i thought that i might get along with these girls, but because of certain thing i don't know or i did not realize, it creates a distant among us, only in 1 day. in that 1 day, everything changed. we do not laugh as we used to laugh together. we are talking as if we are stranger now. even, we do not joke around to each other because everyone seems to take offensively on it.

and i'm curious, but i'm not able to ask the reason why. i was hoping that they might open their heart (if not, their mouth only is okay) to tell me what I have done is wrong for them and i want to fix it. but i think it might be impossible. (i always like to make assumptions)

in my brain, already ran these thought of being left behind alone. i feel sad of my thought. i know i'm not allowed to think negatively, but sometimes i always think of the worst which might happen. i make the scenario, because i'm cautious to what will happen in my surrounding.

and here i am, in library, alone. was left by my friends, they want to go back home early, meet their friends, or just sleep in their room. they are not worried about the role play tomorrow (we have role play group assignment). they don't want to help each other. people are individualistic now. you do your own work, i do my own work. don't interfere each other. i know it's right, but still, it's cold.

and what i can do now? i pray for a good day for tomorrow. a better day to be faced. and an idea to finish my essay. :)

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