.::my long journey::.

Sometimes, I wonder, have I changed in my life? Because everyone tells me that they have changed now, not directly of course. They say, I haven't changed at all, still immature, loud and childish. Well, that time I think, whatever, it is my life, and this is myself. and I was wondering this time, when the earth revolves, and everything's changing, growing, I see myself not wanting to change. I still want to be the same me, and I want everyone around me not changing. but it is inevitable, it is the law, and I told myself, I should change myself too, because it is not likely I would always stay the same. What I found out every time I'm telling myself to change, is, my unwillingness to change myself. back to the beginning again, and I'm unable to change myself. and I told myself again, alternatively, maybe I have changed, it's just I don't realize. and until now, it's still in debate inside my mind. :$

what I learnt today is don't get amazed and make conclusion too fast. I guess this weaknesses of mine makes me break my heart more often. lol. sometimes I like to make this perception of man that they are nice to you, they tease you because they like you. maybe they like you, but in friendly way, not romantically. and now i think i will close my heart for awhile, until i think it's the time to open again. but, it's very easy to impress me. just make me laugh, i will definitely like this person. because i like people who can make me happy. don't you agree? you would want a person you will spend most of your time makes you always happy, right? and i think, i don't wanna be close with people, because when they leave you, it wouldn't feel so lonely. i just want to prevent closeness. it's difficult to trust and close with others, and when there is a problem, it's very easy to break away and separated. i finished watching Music & Lyrics just now, led b...

It has been a long time I did not write in my blog (one month is considered as long for me though). I supposed that maybe because I start writing in my notebook now, I think I prefer writing with pen rather than typing it in blog. but sometimes, because it's already such a tradition for me since 2009 I think, when I start this blog, I tend to miss writing in my blog. teehee. even now, I'm getting busier than ever, ehm, i mean, busier than last semester. hahaha. this month is more, because it's like starting this week i have to go out of town, and PIYF is getting closer and so many things need to be done, and i think the project leader doesn't trust me to handle things because I look so blur. well, she did put me in when I'm in bad condition, the bad thing today is i just finished my CRM presentation, and I tend to blur for a day after presentation.