.::my long journey::.

ya know it? that's phrase from indonesia.. i know it.. when it had happened to me.. so bad.. n ridiculous.. i hope today will end fast.. but i dont think they wanna do it for me.. i think im alone right now.. but i know they will always be beside me,, but i know too , that i ignore them.. why? because i dont want they see my weakness.. i hate to be weak.. that despise me.. but i cant prevent it.. like it chase me to the end.. maybe today im so stressful.. so i digress like this...

life is so unfair for me.. that's what I think about my life now... I HATE live like this.. without any freedom... and full of many BULLSHIT advices? like i care bout it all.. my mom always compare me to my friends who are smart, beautiful, diligent.. not like me!!! lazy bone, stupid, usual, not bad, not beautiful too.. but I really pissing off by 'em.. why? because I really hate being compared like this.. i hate being compared because that means they not accept all of me.. all part of myself.. n that makes me hurt.. watdya think if ur mom try to compare u wif her friend's daughter? o really, that really underestimate me! well, although i try to have positive thinking.. it didnt work.. i think i just try to relax myself. but i doubt i could do it.. and another troubles come again... well, maybe they should try to shut up their mouth, although sometimes it wont work.. and right now, i feel full of hatred.. that's a sin ya know! u shouldnt be like me.. sometimes i feel im...

mungkin aku tak tahu apa arti hidup.. mungkin aku tak tahu apa makna hidup.. tapi aku tahu apa tujuan hidup... yaitu....MAKAN!!! *GUBRAK!!!* ngga laaa... maksudnya tuh tujuan hidup itu berterima kasih pada Tuhan dengan cara kita masing"~ *ni sok bijak* tujuan hidup itu yaaaa.. mmmm... apa yaaa.. waduh.. sebenernya saia jg ga tau hehe.. huweeee..... bosen banget deh akhir" ni.. pengen baca novel, tapi mesti beli.. pengen beli, eh ga bisa.. knapa ga bisa? karna ga ada kartu kredit.. knapa harus kartu kredit? karna mesti pesen online, BODOH!!! ngapain pesen online?? klo bisa bli d gramedia? karna beli online DISKON!!!! huwahahahahhahaha~ gaje kan? :P

WHAT A KISS MEANS~ ♥ ♥ Kiss on the stomach = "I'm ready" ♥ Kiss on the Forehead = "I hope we're together forever" ♥ Kiss on the Ear = "You're my everything" ♥ Kiss on the Cheek = "We're friends" ♥ Kiss on the Hand = "I adore you" ♥ Kiss on the Neck = "we belong together" ♥ Kiss on the Shoulder = "I want you" ♥ Kiss on the Lips = "I love you" What the gesture means... ♥ Holding Hands = "we definitely love each other" ♥ Slap on the Butt = "That's mine" ♥ Holding on tight = "I don't want to let go" ♥ Looking into each other's Eyes = "I just plain love you" ♥ Playing with Hair = "Tell me you love me" ♥ Arms around the Waist = "I love you too much to let go" ♥ Laughing while Kissing = "I am completely comfortable with you" ♥ picking someone up off the...

VIVAnews - Bertemu dan menjalin hubungan dekat dengan seseorang tak selamanya berakhir dalam hubungan asmara. Si dia menyukai perilaku dan sikap Anda, namun ia tak kunjung menyatakan perasaannya. Perlakuannya pada Anda lebih seperti seorang teman daripada seorang kekasih. Atau, bisa jadi ia mengetahui sinyal-sinyal yang Anda kirim namun mengacuhkannya. Agar tak berlama-lama sakit hati, sebaiknya cari tahu apakah hubungan Anda berdua tak lebih dari sekadar teman baginya atau tidak, seperti dikutip dari laman Your Tango. 1. Anda yang selalu memulai Andalah orang yang paling antusias mengajaknya menonton film romantis atau pergi berlibur. Anda pula yang harus memancing humor dan pembicaraan di antara kalian. Kalau Anda yang selalu mengawali pesan singkat dan telepon, berarti kemungkinan besar hanya Anda sendiri yang jatuh hati padanya. 2. Jika berinisiatif, ia membawa teman Walaupun mengajak Anda pada suatu acara, ia membawa serta teman-temannya sehingga kalian berdua tak...

aku mungkin tak tahu apa yang akan menantiku di depan... tapi aku kan tetap berjalan di jalan yang telah kupilih...

tolong dong bantu saya, coba deh liat di halaman bawah blog saya, semuanya posting dari blog bagian atas. dan saya tak tahu bagaimana cara memperbaikinya... ada yg bisa kasih saran?? pliz, dimohon komennya! >

waduh tar lagi skul gw bakal bagi rapor ni!!! bagi murid kelas X kayak gw, kami bakal menghadapi eksekusi *ngaco!*, maksudnya PENJURUSAN!!! wakz.. gila deh.. cuma jurusan doang diributin.. well, knapa juga harus diributin? brarti kalian lum ada tujuan masa depan dong? hmm... klo menurut gw sih, ga masalah antara ga ounya tujuan masa depan tar atau gak, tapi masalahnya itu SEKARANG, apa kamu mampu menempuh semua sekarang? ehem! maksud gw, saat ini, kita pengen atau ngebeeeeeeeetttttttt banget masuk IPA, tapi nilai kamu ga mencukupi, mending masuk IPS toh? tapi, klo emang kamu udah punya tujuan buat prospek masa depan kamu, ya perjuangin aja buat masuk IPA... btw, gw ada studi kasus gini. gw ada denger ni gosip dari anak" sekolah gw. mreka bilang gini "eh si A *maaf nama disamarkan* itu bilang pengen masuk IPS, katanya "aq ni males di IPA", padahal dia itu ga bisa di IPA, dasar ga mau jujur! klo aq pasti masuk IPA, soalna malu uy masuk IPS, IPS kan kelas BUANGAN. liat...

ketika wanita menangis, itu bukan berarti dia sedang mengeluarkan senjata terampuhnya, melainkan justru berarti dia sedang mengeluarkan senjata terakhirnya. ketika wanita menangis, itu bukan berarti dia tidak berusah menahannya, melainkan tak mampu lagi membendung air matanya. ketika wanita menangis, itu bukan karena dia ingin terlihat lemah, melainkan karena dia sudah tidak sanggup berpura-pura kuat. disclaimer : "Let Go", Windhy Puspitadewi Gagasmedia, 2009 bab 6, hal 55-56 ditulis tokoh "Sarah" dalam majalah sekolahnya. keren banget kan ni puisi, yaa.. although i copied it from the novel, but i really like it, love it... that gives me inspiration :) the inspiration is S.E.C.R.E.T!! Xp

haaa??? orang sabar disayang Tuhan?? ga buat gw mungkin... soalna tiap kali gw sabar, pasti aja ada halangannya... huweeee n itu bikin gw kesel banget!!! knapa gw bikin title kayak gtu??? soalna ni terjadi tadi malem.. en mestinya ditulis tadi malem... tadi malem, gw ma kluarga gw pergi makan malem d sebuah restoran. jujur aja, ni kejadian ga penting, tapi gara" gw bad mood, yaa.. bgitula.. kemaren tu emang gw lagi ga ada mood banget buat kemana" gara" gw dah pewe d kamar, sambil baca novel, ngakak", eh.. tau"nya disuruh tuker baju, pergi makan... trus, gw dimarahin, "kok bajunya jelek gitu?" ya biarin, toh cuma mo makan, pikir gw naaaa.. lompat aja ya.. pas nyokap marah" karna gw ga ikut milih menu *toh mereka jg yg milih sndiri pada akhirnya, n ga ngasih bukunya k gw*, mood gw yg ilang, jd k bad mood... trus, pas gw mo ambil makanan d depan gw-gara" uda lama nunggunya, n gw duduk d paling ujung- sendok adek gw nyeruduk aja, mana banyak sao...

hahhaa.. mungkin ni gaje *ga jelas*, tapi emang bener, akhir" ni gw keranjingan baca buku!!! yang pasti orang" ga bakal percaya gw rajin baca buku, coz menurut mreka, buku itu pasti buku pelajaran, buku nonfiksi-ga-jelas, pengetahuan, ensiklopedi!!! hahahahhahahaha~ SUMPER!!! imposibel banget buat orang kaya' gw baca bku gituan... yg gw maksud disini adalah novel! YAP! NOVEL, NOPEL, atau apalah... gara" ga ada krjaan di rumah ni... n yg pasti, itu pinjeman smua.. hahaha *gw emang ga ada modal* ga juga sih... walo dibilang kagak ada modal, toh novel" d rumah gw pada tebel" sekilan smua.. *sok pamer mode ON!* XD selain keranjingan baca buku (baca: novel), gw jg seneng online.. haha~ maen petsos, sorority life, big city life, hotel city, my empire *smua game fb* XD tinierme jg... tapi t game bikin gw kesel!!! pengen banget dapet 1 set alat DJ, eh.. blocknya kagak dapet", padahal butuh banget supaya bisa dapet alat DJ itu!!! ada yg maen jg ga?? klo ad yg m...

wuahhhhhh~ dah lama banget gw ga nulis blog, although few days ago gw sempet nulis sepatah dua kata tentang depresi/stres gw mungkin .. but, now, i hv inspiration bout write my blog again.. te-he~ yak~ mulai aja ya *ga bisa basa basi gw* akhir" ni gw sneng banget~ mau tau knapa?? coz , gw punya persediaan "makanan" yang banyak!!!! o MY!!! I LOVE MY LIFE !!! * at this moment * "makanan" yg gw maksud ni adalah yag tak lain dan tak bukan *?* adalah NOVEL!!!~ O MY~ LOVE this life!!! dan akhir" ni gw sadar, klo ternyata gw pencinta novel remaja, romance, tapi yang pasti, gw ga terlalu suka ma genre school life ... knapa?? karena menurut gw, school life itu isinya cuma gitu" aja!!!! crita tentang sekolah--emangnya kayak gw yg ga pernah sekolah aja???--yang ngebosenin, sampe crita soal pacaran, clubbing , pergaulan bebas *lebih halus toh daripada seks bebas??*, dll but, ada 1 novel yg menarik perhatian gw. novel "Skenario Dunia Hijau dan Cerita-Cerit...

if u think that we won't have any chance at this time.. never try to give up.. because if we don't get it, we can get another one.. n if u have a chance, never let it go.. because, once a good chance is gone.. it will be gone forever... remember : banana bears fruit but once! n u know.. i got some reflection that, u shouldn't stay in ur hometown if u get chance to school abroad.. don't be afraid that u won't get any friends there.. well, everyone's everywhere, n we can get more (cooler) friends than we have now..! n dun worry , u can learn everything step by step.. n pliz remember, we shouldn't try negative things from anyone, anywhere, or anything.. we dun wanna do something -that everyone thing- stupid right? ah! i hv one advice! if u are given something by unknown person/people, smell it first! if the smell like green tea, that's a marijuana... that's impossible for everyone to bring green tea everywhere!

well, there's a phrase that "NOBODY'S PERFECT!" YUP! that's right! me , is not perfect as everyone know.. after he left me like that like there's nothing happen between us.. i hope he'll understand it.. but, after my confession, he start acting like a stranger n of course I'M THE STRANGER FOR HIM! i thought.."why he should be like that? is that because of his trauma? because his confession wasn't taken notice of his love?" that's hurt for me.. why? i didn't do anything wrong.. ..... still.. think of him... every day every night every moment between us.. ..... few times ago.. i could forget about him... so happy ..... i found new love.. but why? i still think of him... my new love is like him.. i don't know.. well, he's my first love.. but , this feeling cannot be erased so easily.. ..... meet him again this morning.. he just go away as usual.. i wanna try to call him.. but, if he ignored me, should i call him? i still have...