19.6.10

happy ending or bad ending?

life is so unfair for me..
that's what I think about my life now...
I HATE live like this..
without any freedom...
and full of many BULLSHIT advices?
like i care bout it all..

my mom always compare me to my friends who are smart, beautiful, diligent..
not like me!!! lazy bone, stupid, usual, not bad, not beautiful too..
but I really pissing off by 'em..
why? because I really hate being compared like this..
i hate being compared because that means they not accept all of me..
all part of myself..
n that makes me hurt..
watdya think if ur mom try to compare u wif her friend's daughter?
o really, that really underestimate me!

well, although i try to have positive thinking.. it didnt work..
i think i just try to relax myself. but i doubt i could do it..

and another troubles come again...
well, maybe they should try to shut up their mouth, although sometimes it wont work..
and right now, i feel full of hatred.. that's a sin ya know!
u shouldnt be like me.. sometimes i feel im so evil..
well, im an egoist girl, but, actually i could be kind..
sometimes, i feel im so rude.

ya know, i always think *well my brain full of thinking* that my life will have happy ending..
but, right now, i doubt it, i think i'll get my bad ending soon..
like winter sonata which i watched this afternoon...
i wish i could have a happily-ever-after life..
but i know, sometimes that just a dream...
dream can raise you up, but sometimes it drops u to the earth..

and I realize.. today maybe is not my bad ending.. coz i can still wait for tomorrow, for the better ending..
and i dont want my life find that ending.. life is full of surprises, although life's full of barrier
and we wont know wat will we face all the time in our life..

such a nonsense right?

PS : sorry my sist, i know u will hate me, but pliz, forgive all of my mistakes, please? because i love u all, although i always say "i hate u all" but that's for close my feeling from u all...

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