Journal 116

Listening to: Ariana Grande ft. Nathan Sykes - Almost is Never Enough

happy bday to meee, yeayyyy!! actually yesterday is my birthday, and i feel so sad that none of my close friends remember my birthday, while I remember theirs. I know I didn't put my birthday in fb, but then, I was hoping they would remember. this year is the loneliest one. :( i don't want to remember my birthday for next year, it seems that no one would celebrate it except my family (if i can go back on my birthday). well, i supposed to buy myself a cake and a present. but it's okay. :) i still have my family who loves me.

today is


Journal 115: photograph

after a while, I realized, I supposed to ask the person whether they want their pic to be posted or tagged in Facebook. for me, I always thought that well, i am the one who took the picture, so it supposed to be my right to post it or not, but when the reality hits, the object is the one who has the full right to asked the photographer take it down or let it be. I am okay if the person that I took the picture wants me to take down their pictures, but I really hate it when they used inappropriate words such as fuck , shit, and their other family relation. do you think taking your picture worth your insults? NO! if you want me to take it down, just write you don't want to be tagged, or you want me to delete the picture, i will obey it. simple as that. some of people that i took the pictures are my friends, but I hate to say that even friends, i won't simply accept the insults. people never want to be in others's shoes, but they always want us in their shoes. it's hard to follow what the society wants nowadays, they are too demanding!


Journal 114: homestay

the scenery beside the main house homestay. breathtaking isn's it? <3 sorry for the blur, there was water on my lens and I did not recognize

enjoying the breeze~

playing kites! (layang-layang)

here is Homestay Kampung Sungai Haji Dorani.

pretty hibiscus <3
2 days 1 night which is more like a floating dream for me since i don't really think that i want to wake up from my nice dream. seriously, i love the living in village, it's very calm and relax, no rush, when you listen to music, all the music you want to hear is already in the nature. and i feel quite guilty when i turned on my phone to listen to the music in my phone. it's just the situation inside the van is so quite, and i can't stand quietness. I'm very serious that all you want to hear is the sound of birds, insects, the leaves that rub against each other by the wind, and the sound of the wind itself. ah, forgot to mention that I stayed in Kampung Sungai Haji Dorani Homestay in Sabak Bernam, Kuala Selangor. i stayed with Wak Tohid and family and their 3 cats. their cats are so cute. hahaa. btw, we are very happy that our  host family is very kind to us. to compare with my other friends, i and my 2 other friends were quite lucky because we got a lot of dishes for our lunch and dinner, even the breakfast we have 5 foods. I dunno how to finish all, and they really live on the quote abbout malaysians eating 5 times a day. they gave us breakfast, lunch, tea time, dinner, and the almost minum malam. we were very tired at that time, that's why we didn't take minum malam and night walking in paddy field. the most memorable is seeing fireflies!! there are lots of fireflies there and it really looks like christmas tree when they twinkle twinkle together. sadly, i can't capture a picture because it's too dark and i'm afraid if i use flash, they won't twinkle.

but the bad thing is i'm hardly able to sleep well. maybe because of the bed or the atmosphere doesn't feel the same as in my room now. although i turned off the lights and listen to music, i kept waking up every hour. ughh, i need to sleep again now. and another problem is, i hardly see my other friends. they were so inclusive that maybe i can never be able to be friend with them or even get into their circle. yeah, i can't blame them also, since they are all e, talk in same language (cantonese) and friends since they were in diploma. so i don't see any chances and yeah, it's better i don't really hope too much. leave everything as it be. being alone in class also not bad. ah the bad thing is only difficult to find group mate for group assignment :(

well, still, i really don't want to leave the homestay so fast. i like the fresh air there, it's damn fresh and cool rather than in the city. so green also (i guess i'm a total green lover)

i have to sleep naaaoooww~ by peepos!



Journal 113

Playlist: Narsha - I'm in Love. (bukan karna saya lagi fall in love, tapi karna lagunya bagus aja)


Journal 112

I guess I found the answer now. I'm afraid of being hurt. Nah, nevermind. 'tis just my realization tonight while looking at window in the bus and reflect upon what happen today. I tend to avoid people who try to get close with me. What I said in my brain was treat this person nicely, answer them in polite way, but yeah, in the end I end up answering them in hmm, quite rude way, and I can't even make any further conversation with them. and shoot, I think there is something wrong with me that I tend to avoid people. why? and I guess I will take the counselling session again. :'(

Btw, happy halloween everyone! It supposed to be yesterday, but I just celebrated it today with bunch of my friends in anime society. Well, every time I'm telling people that I join anime society, it feels like they see it as a kids community. I hate how they already think that way without even experiencing it. and I feel like I find a balance between PATA-MTSC and Anime Society, when PATA is more serious and I have fun in Anime Society. Well, I found a balance in my life already (maybe), although somehow, I don't feel comfortable in anime society, maybe because I'm new, and I don't really know many people, and they are also as introvert as me.

My other problem is I always taking bath late night. My mom, my sister, even my housemates asked me and told me why I take bath late night? It's not good for health, they said. but what can I do when the laziness just come over me? lol ( I always can find a reason in this problem )

well, I supposed to wash my face now. hiks, but I won't give up, even if the~~ *nanananana* don't continue singing! lately I like to continue people talking with song lyric. lol. it's just super funny for me, but not for them and sometimes i feel sad. why only me enjoying this humor?

nah, i better end this post and go take a bath! lolol~