Journal 116

Listening to: Ariana Grande ft. Nathan Sykes - Almost is Never Enough

happy bday to meee, yeayyyy!! actually yesterday is my birthday, and i feel so sad that none of my close friends remember my birthday, while I remember theirs. I know I didn't put my birthday in fb, but then, I was hoping they would remember. this year is the loneliest one. :( i don't want to remember my birthday for next year, it seems that no one would celebrate it except my family (if i can go back on my birthday). well, i supposed to buy myself a cake and a present. but it's okay. :) i still have my family who loves me.

today is
the most annoying and maddening day I have ever had. my lecturer is definitely nonsense. she's the one who said A, and it turns out to be B now. so shitty. because I have no evidence, I can't say it back. everything turns out to be wrong. even my friend seems to blame me because I keep talking and replying the lecturer. well, why didn't he speak instead of me if he knows what is right?? i hate being blamed and the fact is you are too afraid to say it to her, and you asked me to speak first. and another thing is my group mate is soooooo annoying. i can't hate him because he acts so innocently, i can't be angry when people act as if they tried their best, because for me it seems wrong when people put their innocent face and i am angry, it looks like i'm the one who is wrong. and this guy, did everything half way and never want to finish it. i don't know what will happen to him in the future if he didn't want to change his behavior. he's older than me, but then, he's the most irresponsible one. while he went to class, and i and my other friend didn't go to class, he supposed to tell us what assignment we should do, so it will not be rush in last minute. i damn hate last minute. and i hate people who can't do their job well, what i want is just kick them and do it by my own, but then, it's what they say group assignment, i supposed to train my calmness, not too rush and get emotional quickly. i think i just can't help hating people who is reckless and irresponsible to their words. the most is that lecturer. she wrote it by herself, but then she deleted it and we have no proof she wrote it. it's fucking annoying and maddening. i feel like want to hit her head and makes her realize her mistake but what she did is only blaming her students, damn bitchy. i don't want to care about her now, what i want to do is just finish this subject, pass the subject with at least B-, and never see her face again. i hope to God to make this pray of mine come true, I will do my best for this subject on final exam and the presentation.

nah, forget those negative feelings, what i should do now is finishing all of my reflective learning and study for my final exam! my final exam is in 2 weeks more, need to study and forget online-ing. hehehe. what i was hoping is i keep my GPA above 3.5. it's not easy, but i should work my hardest. fighting!

i might write my new year resolution in near time. :3 just feeling like it. :D

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