Blessed - Bersyukur

Currently reading: Stilettale by LM Cendana

Listening to: Daniel Caesar - Blessed

note: I am sorry for this post is gonna be in English. Mohon maaf terlebih dahulu karena saya akan menulis dalam Bahasa Inggris.

This is not a story about love. I thought this morning under the shower, that I have been so blessed with life. Life has not been so easy but actually there is blessing in disguise in every option I took.

I prayed so hard for my two previous jobs. I was unemployed for 1 year after my graduation and when I thought I think it was time to take a leap to apply for job in Jakarta although I still had high hopes gaining employment abroad. I am glad I took it. It was hard at first time. Demanding workload, demanding boss (which boss is not demanding? tell me, I wanna apply), new environment (I never lived in Jakarta before). However, I learnt so much things on my first job, got to know new friends that came along in this journey. I am also grateful for my first boss. She is a tough one, but I gained grit, knowledge, new horizon from her. She is a very strong woman as well. I knew I was complaining during work, but looking back, she trusted me with those hard jobs and help me out when I could not do it. 

However, my mom was sick, and I had to go back home. No one can accompany my mom for 24/7, my dad is busy, my siblings were still studying. No one can be at home fully to accompany her. So, I have to resign. I don't regret that I have to resign. At that time, I also think, maybe after my mom is back to her health, I wanna study abroad, maybe to Taiwan because I wanna hone my Mandarin. Yet, I still cannot go because my fund is not enough (many things happened and I could not explain it here). I was also late to apply for the scholarship. 

And I am glad that my mom is fine now, she is still recuperating but I am happy she can smile again. No grey clouds on her eyes although sometimes I see a hint of sadness in her eyes. I keep cheering her on, telling her it's alright, she doesn't need to worry anything.

I also got a job end of last year, but due to pandemic, it has closed down the operation. Well, it was about to happen sooner or later, even before pandemic, so I think we are all blessed to not have to go to the office. We are all safe and sound at home when the pandemic hits.

There is a silver lining in every choice I did. Even though it was hard at first. and I feel that I am blessed, I am grateful. 

So, it kinda connect to my relationship status. I'm gonna hit 30 in few more years, but nothing happens till now. Let say, maybe God has planned it all, so I just need to walk the way like how I used to do with my job. :) Until then, maybe I'll still keep complaining with my friends on why we are all still by ourselves. (lol) it's humane , you know. Don't lecture me on that toxic positivity saying if you keep complaining, how does the guy will like you. bleh, you are one to talk. Been there done that. everyone does the same as you with that lecture and you with the complaining before anything happens. (laugh)