.::my long journey::.

Now onto the perfume that I like 1. Miss Dior Blooming Bouquet EDT  Smells good, but i don't have the photo because i finished the sample and didn't buy the new one 2. From top left to bottom right. Chloé EDP, Chloé Love Story EDP, Roses de Chloé EDT, Chloé Rose tangerine EDT, Chloé Fleur de Parfum EDP. My most favorite is Chloé EDP, least favorites are Love Story, Roses de Chloé. But all of them are bearable and smells good too. I definitely wana buy the full version of Chloé EDP and wanna try Chloé Nomade too. 3. Twilly d'Hermes EDP smells warm, mature, fits for night wear and stay for long hour 4. Lancome Idôle Not sure if this is EDT or EDP, but smells flowery, sweet but not overbearing, great for daily wear. 5. Chanel Coco Mademoiselle and Gabrielle Chanel EDP.  I really like Coco and I came to grow to like Gabrielle. At first I don't like Gabrielle, but the smell is so good if you spray it on your clothes...

So, i was on perfume frenzy and bought lotsa samples before. I wanna list down perfume that smells bad for me. This will be for my own reminder as well. List will be updated based on new entry. 1. Coach Signature Rose d'Or EDP There is no rose smell at all in my opinion. Well, the base note has hint of it, but the top note is definitely smells like Arabian oud. kayak kemenyan juga. No more sample for this one. Color of the liquid is orange pinkish. 2. Kenzo Flower EDP Smells too sweet in my opinion. No rose smell, but I liked this before due to its powdery smell. This one however is too sweet. The EDT one is better imo. 3. Salvatore Ferragamo Signorina EDP Too sweet. Can't stand this  Will finish the last 2 to spray on my clothes.

 it's November, another 1 month towards the end of year what the heck am i doing right now? worked as recruiter, rejecting jobs as recruiter do i really wanna do it? i don't i don't think being sales person is what i want but i can always give my 100% effort to work i wanna restart my life can i? i think of being another person working the job they like i know there will be ups and downs but at least they love the job, it's part of their passion and where am i now? not trying on things i want to do nor do i work on things i want to do i felt lazy. i am lazy don't even know what kind of job i wanna do society , and my mom, dad, family, dictates that a person like me, who is an overseas graduate, shouldn't work a lowly job (cust service, admin staff) but for something bigger. now how do we get the chance to do something bigger when you are just a small potato? would there be anyone want to give you a chance in this competitive world nowadays? i don't know.

have i told you about grad school? i really wanna continue taking master's degree in the future. i don't know, maybe master in tourism management or master in psychology. both are the fields i want to study. however, grad school is so expensive, looking at my age now , 27, i need to at least save up 5-7 years of my salary to be able to afford grad school abroad (while unemployed), and i'm currently still unemployed, which might deter my plan to few years back. i don't see master's degree as a means to advance my career. more like, i wanna learn these fields because i'm interested in it. i believe that i can finish it with now my understanding in both languages and experiences. i understand that i will find more new information, knowledge, horizon when i start my study, it would be amazing yet going into the unknown lol. but at least i'm more prepared than when i was in undergrad school. i also think of my future job. i wanna work at the field i'm passion...

 i just want to rant about how it is so unfair for people who studied in a school that is not considered a top school for a mere position as Office Admin cum PA. i feel like it's so unfair when you open such position for fresh grad but you said that fresh grad needs to be considered based on their school. client wants someone from top school. you know what? as someone who graduated from top school, i don't wanna be mere office admin cum PA. such job is supposed to be for 2 people, but you put it on 1 person, it shows on how stingy you are, client. you may be a small office, but decide on which you want to hire for. and if you want a PA, then hire a PA. not an office admin. ask for 2 years exp as PA, don't put false hope such as fresh graduate are welcome. it is also part of my lesson, that i need to read carefully and posted things carefully if i don't wanna feel the same anger anymore. it sucks that i wanna people who is fresh grad and have no prior exp to be given a c...

re-reading my previous posts, i can say i rant a lot during this pandemic (or even before pandemic lol). i have no one to confide in. i know my best friend (well, more like childhood friend rather than best because i know...) that she will judge me childish, for complaining on such trivial things. my other close friends will hear about it, but i don't wanna complain a lot about my life to them, i know it tends to annoy people to listen to rants.  but i can say that i'm being mature every day. i tried not to put it into heart every time my sis gave me snide remarks, my bro being his annoying self, my mom's complaining about me and my laziness. i think only my dad who is most quiet because everyone else has done the talking.  also, i tried to ignore my sis every other day when she gave me side eye or rolling her eyes followed by razor-cut sentences. because, why do i want to react. it's not worth it. but other day, well, i'm just so annoyed that i will just keep quiet...

Suddenly thinking about what I want to do when I retire. I'll put this here so that when I forgot about it, I can look back and remember that I have to save up for this future retirement plan. So, I don't know why, but I really wanna move to New Zealand for my retirement. Maybe around 40-50 years old? Until then, I will save up, traveling to my bucket list countries (Japan, Turkey for hot air balloon and Bhutan). I wanna have a grape field or cows farm also a small house in the village. It's gonna be peaceful. Maybe I should learn how to drive car/truck XD Either that or just in different city but still gonna live in rural areas. If I have enough money, I wanna make retirement house/club. It's gonna be fun, when you are older and not living with your child or grandkids, you still have friends to meet and gather in a club, doing whatever you want or entertainment they provided such as mini golf, knitting, chess, reading club, ping pong, evening tea while gossiping whose ...

whenever i'm at home, everyone makes me questioning my self-worth they made me feel stupid, forgetful, annoying i should just keep quiet and not voice out my opinion they just want pleasant conversation where i contribute with compliments to boost their ego only that sucks none of my siblings appreciate me  which sucks you know what you guys are SUCKS as well for making me feel so low like this can't you guys think and feel before saying anything? not to make someone feel hurtful by your words

She asked me if he cuts it out for my ideal man. I told her that no, he does not. But the truth is, dear, he could make it, but I deny it. I don't want our relationship to change. I'm not ready, I think, as much as I want to have a relationship, to have a partner. I am afraid he will reject me first before I can ever say I'm interested in him. I'm afraid of the changes in our friendship. I'm afraid that he's not the one and I would feel heartbroken. I'm still too afraid, and maybe I'm the one who doesn't cut it out for him

Currently reading: Stilettale by LM Cendana Listening to: Daniel Caesar - Blessed note: I am sorry for this post is gonna be in English. Mohon maaf terlebih dahulu karena saya akan menulis dalam Bahasa Inggris. This is not a story about love. I thought this morning under the shower, that I have been so blessed with life. Life has not been so easy but actually there is blessing in disguise in every option I took. I prayed so hard for my two previous jobs. I was unemployed for 1 year after my graduation and when I thought I think it was time to take a leap to apply for job in Jakarta although I still had high hopes gaining employment abroad. I am glad I took it. It was hard at first time. Demanding workload, demanding boss (which boss is not demanding? tell me, I wanna apply), new environment (I never lived in Jakarta before). However, I learnt so much things on my first job, got to know new friends that came along in this journey. I am also grateful for my first boss. She is a tough one...

Listening to : Shawn Mendes - Stitches   Aku masih belum juga menyelesaikan novel yang aku pernah tulis di post sebelumnya. Hari ini, aku menghabiskan waktuku dengan menonton 3 film. The Half of It, Scent of A Woman, No Reservations. Jujur saja, aku melewatkan banyak bagian di Scent of A Woman. Aku yakin film itu adalah film yang bagus, karena akting Al Pacino sangatlah keren, terutama di bagian akhirnya, tapi aku melewati banyak bagian karena aku tidak suka dengan alurnya yang lambat. Memang, aku tidak punya kesabaran jika menonton film sendirian, kecuali di bioskop. Aku akan melewatkan banyak bagian hingga aku tiba di bagian yang aku sukai saja. Saat menonton The Half of It, aku kira Ellie tidak menganggap Aster sebagai romantic interest, tapi ternyata begitulah adanya. Aku sudah mendengar spoiler bahwa film ini mengandung same-sex interest, tapi aku tidak mengharapkan demikian. Aku ada sedikit kecewa karena menurutku Aster mungkin mencari teman perempuan yang tulus ingin bertema...

Listening to : Goodnight Irene Currently reading: I'll go to you when the weather is nice p.219 Fiuh, I think 2-3 days ago I was on p.169. Jujur saja, aku sangat penasaran dengan gantungan kunci bertuliskan good night Irene. Mengapa Im Eunseob menyebut Haewon sebagai Irene? Juga, DIMANA AKU BISA MENEMUKAN REPLIKA GANTUNGAN KUNCI TERSEBUT? Aku sangat ingin membelinya. It looks so cute. Aku sangat suka dengan hal-hal yang berhubungan dengan bulan dan bintang. Apakah kalian melihat langit malam ini? Langit malam di tempatku sangat bersih, dan kita akan segera menyambut bulan purnama dalam beberapa hari ini. Aku sangat suka menatap bulan purnama yang bersinar terang di langit yang bersih. Menurutku, malam ini langit terlihat seperti warna navy blue. Kebetulan, warna favoritku setelah merah. Aku harap, bulan purnama bulan ini akan ditemani dengan langit yang cerah dan bersih dari awan, sehingga aku bisa menatap bulan purnama dan bintang-bintang. Pasti perasaan akan makin bahagia. Baikla...

Listening to: Ben&Ben - Leaves Lagi suka banget sama lagu ini, liriknya puitis dan sedih banget sih. Apparently, lagu ini tentang pacarnya yang menyelingkuhi dia, dan dia bilang "you never really love someone until you learn to forgive" yang artinya kamu tidak benar-benar mencintai seseorang hingga kamu belajar untuk memaafkan. Kalimat ini juga menurutku tidak hanya dirujuk pada pacar, tapi ke kita pribadi, apakah kita benar-benar mencintai orang-orang di sekitar kita dan memaafkan mereka atas kesalahan mereka kepada kita. Aku juga baru kepikiran kemarin, sebenarnya ingin menghapus entry lama dari blogku ini. Blog ini sudah ada semenjak aku masih SMP? aku juga tidak begitu ingat, tapi lumayan cukup lama, dan aku terkadang merasa malu jika membaca beberapa post lamaku. Ini juga adalah bukti bahwa pola pikirku yang berkembang namun tetap saja seorang hopeless romantic (tertawa). Aku akui bahwa aku sangat menyukai ide seputar cinta dan romantisme. Namun bukan berarti aku buk...

Listening to: Gabe Bondoc - Gentleman Don't Currently Reading: I'll Go To You When The Weather is Nice Akhir-akhir ini lagi berusaha menyelesaikan membaca buku di atas. Sepertinya kecepatan membacaku mulai berkurang. Biasanya, aku bisa menyelesaikan 1 novel dalam 1-2 hari. Kali ini, sudah hampir 1 minggu aku berkutat dengan novel ini. Jika kalian penikmat drama Korea, buku ini baru saja diadaptasi ke sebuah drama yang diperankan oleh Seo Kang Joon dan Park Min Young. Membaca buku ini rasanya si penulis adalah seorang pria. Mengapa aku merasa demikian, karena cara penuturan kata-kata yang menurutku lumayan deskriptif dan detail tapi tidak begitu mengutamakan penjelasan pada apa yang dirasakan dua karakter utama kita setiap saat. Penggambaran suasana, lokasi, sangat jelas, makanya aku mengira penulis adalah seorang laki-laki. Sebenarnya, aku cukup merasa senang selama membaca buku ini (hingga setengah buku untuk saat ini). Walaupun saat ini aku belum mendapatkan pekerjaan baru (p...

So I believe, it's time for me to let go of you Of memories of you Of the past Of this unrequited love Thank you, for being the best person I have ever liked. I hope I'll find someone like you, even better And like me in return :)

Night after night I'm awake on my bed After spending the happiest day in my life Now I feel so empty Wonder why does it feel like this? Cold air blew my face I can only shiver under my blanket Thinking of the happy day And how empty I feel right now Am I being ungrateful? Or is it because I spent the "happiest" day in lie? Ah I guess it's just there is no somebody to share the story with...

You came unexpectedly On the red moon Or like now Hit me so sudden like a prick of needle, then so blunt like a plate hit me flat on my head Then came the roll of wave from my stomach, trying to push out its content My only savior is paracetamol For I can't get rid the pain unless I swallow it. *Trying to write a poem about migraine, but I can't come up with hyperbole to explain about migraine hahahaha. Will read more 💪

大家好, Hello everybody, 我是Jessie。 I am Jessie 為什麼我要寫用漢語，因為我要可以寫和說話用中文 Why I want to write in Mandarin, because I want to be able to write and speak in Mandarin. 今天，我要開始和朋友們一起玩 "Dungeons and Dragons". Today, I am going to start playing "Dungeons and Dragons" with my friends. 我已經待在家里三個月了，什麼也沒做，我的朋友問我 是否 想和他們一起玩這個遊戲。 Wǒ yǐjīng dài zài jiālǐ sān gè yuèle, shénme yě méi zuò, wǒ de péngyǒu wèn wǒ shìfǒu xiǎng hé tāmen yīqǐ wán zhège yóuxì. I have been staying at home for 3 months doing nothing and my friend asked me if I want to join them playing this game. 我當時想在下一篇 博客 文章中放中文和英文歌曲歌詞。 Wǒ dāngshí xiǎng zàixià yī piān bókè wénzhāng zhōng fàng zhōngwén hé yīngwén gēqǔ gēcí. I was thinking that I want to put song lyric in Mandarin and English on the next blog post. 這將是我最喜歡的歌曲 Zhè jiāng shì wǒ zuì xǐhuān de gēqǔ it would be my favorite songs 我想在接下來的6個月內開始學習中文。 Wǒ xiǎng zài jiē xiàlái de 6 gè yuè nèi kāishǐ xuéxí Zhōngwén. I want to start learning Mandarin in the next 6 months. ...

Takut sekali mencoba hal baru Hal yang aku tidak tahu bagaimana hasilnya nanti Akankah aku sukses? Akankah aku gagal lagi seperti saat ini? Apapun itu, aku ingin berusaha mencoba Namun, pundi-pundiku tak cukup untuk melanjut, Tantangan di depan butuh biaya sampingan Apa daya aku tak mungkin mengemis Haruskah aku coba saja?

Aku tahu kok Kalau masa depan itu ga pasti. Ga ada yang tau gimana hasilnya Tapi, sebanyak apapun aku mencoba, kenapa selalu gagal? Apa aku salah karena mengeluh belum mendapatkan keberhasilan? Pemikiran harus positif ini pelan--pelan buatku gila Gila karena aku HARUS semangat, pantang menyerah, ga boleh putus asa Sementara aku merasa udah diujung jurang Kurang apa lagi dari usaha-usahaku selama ini? Kenapa aku ga bisa tahu apa hasilnya kalau aku sudah berusaha.