Journal 125: The reason to not being honest, which is better.

It has been a long time since I wrote the last post. How am I doing? I am doing good until last week. The turnover event is quite shocking, even for me. It is hard to believe that some people just never listen enough to what others said and make a twist of fate. Let me tell you the story....

I have a regional trip project upcoming next month. apparently, we are going to depart the end of next month. So, we, all of us, classmates, planning for this trip, making the proposal. The truth behind the proposal is, they handle all of it. no words of help.. I don't know... I don't know if they need my help, or it's just they think I won't help them. I'm kind of passive person, I won't offer, unless you ask. and I'm a person with a difficulty to say no, so of course I will help you as long as it's within my capability.

So, they just book all the tickets, they discussed this to us. but for the hotel room, they wanna do cheat. and fail in total. Such in vain after booking, they tried to persuade me to take the extra bed. We have an odd number for girls, and we only have 1 boy, they booked 3 twin sharing rooms. and while they sleep on their respective bed , they want me to sleep on extra bed and let the boy own a room of himself, and still ask me to pay the same amount of money as them, with the additional of the extra bed cost (which also shared fairly). but I can't accept this. I don't want, I told them, if want to be fair why not book triple, double and single room? they said it costs more than you order double only. Forgodsake, the trip itself is already sponsored by school for certain amount, and they still count every penny that they will take out for this trip. It's not much and will be convenient for us, but just because of money, they want to sacrifice one. We work on this proposal together, since we divided the groups and find the quotations, but then, there are the selfishness among majority group which I seriously hate. just because you are majority, doesn't mean you can sacrifice others who is minority than you. I might be hard to say no, but this time, I want to say NO.

I think I know what you think when you read my story, I'm also selfish, right? but I got my right to get the same twin sharing room like others, not a merely extra bed when I pay the same amount of money as them. Don't you say that's what is fair about?

So, when the lecturer tried to reason out what I was thinking, and she (and all of them already ask me for being honest before) asked me to be honest, tell her what I think about their decision to book all twin sharing room. I told her bluntly, honestly, that they should just go on with the previous plan (we did this proposal last month, but all rejected and we must postpone our trip to next month). I won't say she's wrong in this talk, but she totally twisted what I told her when she told the other classmates. and so stupid I am, to be snapped so easily, get angry and almost cried (did I forget to tell you that I cry when I'm angry? My mom told me many times not too cry, "don't show your weaknesses to others") it's hard for me to be calm and act as if nothing happen today. Especially when they obviously ignored me, and at the same time still act as if nothing happen (the lost part here is that they used to chat to me, and now they totally do not look at me at all today). So I think if it is what they want, and this is what I'm gonna do, I will also ignore them, but to tell you the truth, I'm still a bit angry because they just do not think what if they are in my position. and I feel like, during these times when they act nice to me, is it all fake or sincere?

and at this time, I found out that the person you think you can trust the most, will eventually betray you and it deeply hurts. that's also one of my reason, that I will try not to be honest to people outside my territory (family).

and meanwhile, I saw one of my senior's FB status, the generation nowadays always complaining. if you keep complaining, when will you be done? <-- truly agree with this statement, that lately, when I keep complaining about my neverending assignment, there will be also no end if I just complain and no work to be done! :D *when I just finished complaining about my life, lol*

have a good day!

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