27.9.11

Journal 26 : Eksposisi!

Mood : confused, in hurry, every thing mixes in my head!

have assignment must be done tonight! have no time to tell whole story. in brief, i'm BUSY! :)

22.9.11

Journal 25 : Debate!

Mood : NERVOUS!


Debate. One thing that I know I can't do well. Speaking in front of people without stuttering is something hard to do. When I saw some participant was actively giving questions to the speaker, I just gawked and silent.
I wish I could do debate although I don't win but at least I won't stutter in front of the adjudicators and speak slowly. :(


aaaaaaaa. why is he avoiding me? what is my mistake? wish there is no thing.
난 널 좋아해 (nan neol joh-ahae) I always want to say this. :(
but it would be better for me to stop expecting something impossible. :(

I learnt Hangeul now. wow, it's quite easy, later on , I should learn how to compose a sentence by using Hangeul. remember of Hangeul remind me of hiragana and katakana I haven't finished yet.

right now, I should look for some data or I'll can't say anything tomorrow. :)
have a nice rest all :)

21.9.11

Journal 24 : 10th grade student

Mood : :D


Do I look like a 10th grade student??? oh noooo, you know, our new native speaker and a boy from 11th grade said so. I don't know how to react, a compliment or a mock. Maybe this is my mistake to have such a cute face *plak* ;P

I just realized that stand with a foreign people is not really cool. I heard they speak and their voice were heard as "ngiiingggg" voice. hahaha. Because I'm not an active speaker, that's why I'm not good at listening but speaking.

Tonight I'm free, but I don't know what will happen tomorrow. ughhhh, I have to concentrate on the debating competition, that's why I said like that (read above). I got a training from our native speaker who came from America and will stay here about 9 months maybe. This year is our last year to have native speaker. Usually, each school just have 2 years to have a native speaker, but our school is special case because ummm many many reasons I think, but I don't know what the reasons are.

I just got a comment about "my 10th-grade-student face" from my friend. She said that your junior is underestimate you, huhu. So, that freshman trying to underestimate me? hah! You choose a wrong person , dude! just watch your step.
Actually,. first I just be a positive thinking, but let's have a negative thinking of this problem. LOL.

Last but not least because I will still write journal, I'm going to sleep, it's near 9 p.m now here. Byeeee~

PS : my book is going to come next week~ aaaaaa~ i'm waiting for you~~~ :DD

20.9.11

Journal 23 : Realize...

Mood : In hurry.


Hari ini aku menyadari, bahwa aku sungguh suka menyia-nyiakan sesuatu.
Money, one of "those". That I'm really not worth it.
My dad has worked hard for us, untuk menghidupi keluarga, but I just spent it foolishly. Such a babo.
aku tahu aku bodoh tapi aku masih melakukannya, benar-benar bodoh.
mungkin hari ini aku tercerahkan dengan 1 hal. Semoga aku segera tercerahkan dengan berbagai hal. :)
Mungkin esok, maupun lusa.

aaaaaa. kenapa dadaku berdesir setiap lihat dia? aku hanya berharap ini bukan sesuatu.
semoga dia tidak sadar. semoga dia 'buta'.
aku hanya sangat bodoh dalam berbohong,. itu saja. hwhw.

aaa. tugas menumpuk
aku harus mengerjakannya hari ini atau aku akan 'mati' besok. hiks.
saya sudahi dulu ya. sibuk sekali. belum nge-print pula. :'(

18.9.11

Journal 22 : online shopping.

Mood : Excited
Listen to : Brilliant Legacy OST - Crazy In Love


waiting for my packet! when will it arrive? and what items will be ordered next? how much money still I have. oh, lately I become spendthrift. wish my mom won't blame on me. :((

lagi pengen novel2. SeoulMate, Bubble Love (2"nya dari Lia Indra Andriana), komik2 yang lagi dalam proses nunggu "duit cair" biar bisa transfer tar. bando haruhi-ku, smoga mbak yg jual mau nanggepin aq coz I'm serious, really want it!!! karaoke, pengen bangettttt, sayang smua masih ragu sm ajakanku. mana pas pula ada bazar d sekolah. jadinya pengen ngabisin uang d skolah deh, tapi ga ah, rugi. huh :P

last night, my dream seemed so real. ugh, am I always looking at him? looking for him? like him? oh no, stop it, it must be an illusion.
I don't wanna be a nut!

Last time I checked, I'm still the same me except with those illusion keep following me. aaaaaaaaaa. #stress

17.9.11

Journal 21 : Lately

Listen to : OST. Crazy Little Thing Called Love - Someday I Will Be Good Enough
Mood : flat

many things happened, but I forget it all.
today I had accounting test, ugh, I don't think I could pass it.
Wednesday, I had computer test, ow sh*t, I was wrong and my balance sheet doesn't balance at all!
Thursday, I think I had sport test, yes, I did it, a lil' bit wrong when my leg was bend to right-side while do rolling.
and when I got my sociology test? I forget. maybe it's on Friday. ugh, I don't remember. That's so bad. my answers are wrong. not all, just some but the teacher said half of class didn't pass his test. :((

lately, I guess I'm so addicted to online shop. I love shopping via online, buy some cute stuffs and comics, but I just realized, I'm such a troublesome to my friend, because I keep bothering her with my question " have you already transferred the money yet?""have the stuffs come yet?"
oh my God, I believe that I'm such a nuisance for her. Forgive me, Yu-chan!

I really curious with this Namida Usagi comic from Usami Tae. Do you know it? Have you already read it? tell me how the story is and in what volume it ends?
reply me from comment below. thanks!

14.9.11

Journal 20 : Pasrah!

Mood : galau


Pasrah! Mungkin cocok untuk menggambarkan hari ini, karena "itu" sudah mengawali hariku pagi ini. Hoshhhh..... Pasrah. Apa menurutmu soal pasrah?

Pagi ini aku mengalami ulangan praktek komputer dan hasilnya, oh no, ngga balance, ngga bagus! Yang pasti aku ga tuntas dan remed. Sial! padahal jurnal umumku udah bener! Rasanya pengen ngamuk karena ketidakhati-hatiankulah yang menyebabkannya. Kenapa aku tidak merasa ada yang kurang? Kenapa aku tidak mengecek lagi? Kenapa aku ingni cepat-cepat selesai? Tahukah kau, bahwa aku sulit untuk pasrah, bahwa aku lebih menyesal ketimbang pasrah, memasrahkan semuanya.

Pasrah itu menyerahkan semuanya kepada Tuhan, tapi kenapa banyak mereka mengatakan bahwa pasrah itu melepas dengan rela? Yang mana yang bener? Rasanya 2 arti itu memiliki makna yang berbeda. Aku bisa melakukan definisi pasrah bagian 1, tapi tidak dengan yang 2. Mungkin aku akan mengalami kesulitan dalam melepaskan hal dengan rela. suatu hal yang penting.

Lagi-lagi, saya lupa. Huwaaaaaaaa. am I that forgetful? T________T
padahal hari ini sudah ada rencana , namun apadaya, yang ada malah mengerjakan hal diluar yang sudah saya rencanakan tadi malam. apa yang saya rencanakanpun sudah lupa. hwhwhw.

Apakah Cer*br*vit bisa membantu mengembalikan ingatanku? Atau menguatkan daya ingatku?

13.9.11

Journal 19 : first thing first.

Mood : Frustrated!
*habis memperbaiki tugas Bahasa Indonesia buat di-post dan akhirnya, selesaiiiiiiii~ wish me luck!

Lately I really like with this "first" word.
I hope I didn't make same journal's title, but it's okay, since I'm a forgetful person.

Rasanya ingin mencabut sangkalan saya terhadap omongan Shakespeare mengenai "Apalah arti sebuah nama." Rose are red, violet are purple, so what's the meaning of name?
Nama itu bukanlah hal penting, namun kenyataan bahwa aku disini adalah penting.
Bahwa penampakan itu penting, bukan penampilan.
Kenapa saya malah nyasar ke curcol? Ah, anggap saja saya emang pelupa :P

Dan sepertinya saya butuh first thing come first, gara-gara sifat pelupa saya, jadi susah buat memprioritaskan apa yang harus dilakukan. Tahukah Anda bahwa 8 jam yang lalu saya berpikir untuk membaca novel yang saya pinjam lalu 20 menit lalu saya diberitahu ada ulangan praktek komputer? Oh, please, if you were me, you wouldn't want it to be remembered!

Jadi, mungkin untuk mewujudkannya, saya akan memulai dengan membawa scheduler, agar tidak lupa!

What a wonderful day today~
and I wish it could remain for good.

12.9.11

Journal 18 : first time.

Mood : Bad


hari ini semua pertama kali
pertama kali belajar naik motor
pertama kali jatuh dari motor gara2 ga seimbang
pertama kali buat email pakai nama sendiri hanya buat tugas. mungkin selanjutnya akan dipakai buat tugas kuliah (aminnnn :D)
pertama kali menyadari bahwa sepertinya saya seorang penyendiri. teman saya berkata, 2 sahabat saya yg mendapatkan kelompok mereka sendiri, mungkin karena ada rasa saling membutuhkan. apakah berarti saya tidak dibutuhkan? apakah saya tidak membutuhkan mereka. entahlah, kalau saya jawab ya, saya butuh mereka, berarti saya berbohong (setengah), kalau saya bilang tidak, juga bohong (setengah), gimana dong? kedudukan seimbang.

pertama kali saya menyadari bahwa ada orang lain yang imut. ya ampunnnn, apalagi pas dia senyum. haha. maybe just a crush. naksir. ngga lebih. lebih baik tidak mendalam, karena hanya akan sakit saat sudah tertanam dalam dan harus dicabut. menyisakan lubang yg menganga, dan harus diapakan lubang tersebut? semoga bisa ditambal :)


sekian deh journal saya hari ini. harus mengerjakan tugas bahasa Indonesia dan belajar buat ulangan ekonomi manajemen besok! see ya!

10.9.11

Journal 17 : Ditinggalkan?

Mood : gloomy
Listen to : 가지마 - Junsu (2PM)&Lim Jeong Hee (Dream High OST)

Entah apa yang saya inginkan hari ini. Bisakah saya diberi kemampuan untuk membaca apa yang dipikirkan dan dirasakan orang lain saat saya ingin? Rasanya lebih baik tidak tahu daripada tahu. Menyadari sesuatu yang sebaiknya tidak perlu disadari. Menyakitkan.

"Aku pikir kita teman?" Mungkin aku seperti Patrick di Spongebob Squarepants saat Gary meninggalkan Patrick dan kembali pada Spongebob. Disini aku sebagai Patrick, meratap, dan 2 sahabatku ibarat Gary, yang kembali pada kelompok mereka (Spongebob). Mungkin aku yang anti-sosial makanya ngga punya banyak teman, apalagi teman baru seperti yang mereka dapatkan saat ini. Mungkin aku yang ngga peka, karena ngga pernah sadar kapan saat mereka membutuhkanku, hanya aku yang butuh mereka dan meninggalkan mereka saat aku senang. I feel like a crap.

Dan sekarang, aku sadar, mereka sudah punya teman masing2, dan aku terlupakan. Apakah aku mengatakan demikian? Entahlah. Aku bahkan tidak tahu kalau mereka sekarang melupakan aku. Aku bahkan tidak tahu bahwa mereka mulai tidak peduli padaku. Dan aku sadar bahwa aku terlalu cerewet sekarang. Menulis mungkin salah satu sarana untuk mengeluarkan semua kata-kata tanpa harus membuat tenggorokanku kering. Instead, tanganku malah semakin lancar mengetik dan capek. Hehehe.

Mungkin ini takdir, bahwa aku tidak akan punya teman yang bisa dipercaya sepenuhnya. Yahhh, karena aku hanya memberi setengah, maka aku mendapatkan setengah. Jika kau memberi sepenuhnya, maka kau akan mendapat balikannya penuh.

aaaaa... saya bingung, galau. lupakan segala yang buruk, tidak menyenangkan dan kau akan terbebas dari perasaan galau. :P

9.9.11

Journal 16.5 : Alive Again!

Mood : (unidentified)


akhirnya, kemaren tidur seperti semula, ga sakit kepala sebelah, ga ngantuk, ga kurang tidur lagi, ga tidur sampe tengah malem buat nyelesaiin karya ilmiah, ga tidur pas pelajaran (Pengalaman pertama tidur pas pelajaran BK, maafkan saya, Pak, bukan tidak memperhatikan tapi sungguh saya kurang tidur beneran. kalo boleh izin tidur di UKS, langsung saya lakukan saat itu juga! Sayangnya kami, hanya peserta lomba karya ilmiah, ga dapet izin buat tidur di sekolah barang 1 jam saja.) --> kok jadi curcol ya? hahaha

hmm, menulis dalam bahasa Indonesia lebih asik, jadinya ga bikin otak saya capek. tapi kadang mood aja nulis dalam bahasa Indonesia, apalagi buat curcol, kalo ngatain orang pastinya pake bahasa Inggris biar orang yang dimaksud ga ngerti! wkwk. asik juga toh?~

haaaa, sepertinya hari ini balik seperti semula, tidur pukul 10 dan sambil main The Sims Social di Facebook. should sleep now, tomorrow still has school. geez, when will we have a full holiday? lately, so tiring and why the homework always come and come?? geez.... really a nuisance!

Journal 16 : Galau

Mood : Galau


Mau nanya, apa sih yang kalian lakukan saat galau?

saya sedang galau. karena
1. pengen remove orang tapi ngerasa ga enak. tapi, ni orang jg rada kepo.
2. bosen dan (kangen?) sama seseorang ini. hanya dia yg bisa diajak curhat.
3. galau aja. hahaha.

sepertinya galau itu sama dengan bingung. #sigh

kalau sedang galau, biasanya saya :
1. bengong
2. lolipop, kopi, coklat
3. nulis
4. tidur dan lupakan
5. curhat ke seseorang ini

how about you?
mari bergalau ria~
galau itu asik, haha, kadang, tapi bikin bingung(=galau?) juga. :D

7.9.11

Journal 15 : Surprised!

I was supposed to write this one yesterday, but my Internet as usual was lagged.

Mood : happy
Listen to : Mandy Moore-Only Hope

Yesterday was a surprise. I didn't think that he actually supposed to do it.
He promised me to give 2 lollipops, but actually he bought 5! How could it be. Although it just a small surprise, but I felt so happy, never in my mind he would do it. Sweet, actually. Omigod. Am I crazy in love now? Yes! Stupid but yes! He has made me in this way.

But, one thing for sure, I don't want to expect too much. Since he can't easily be read. huh, I'm supposed to be able to read someone's characters, but not with him. Even his feeling.
and I'm quite sure he knew it already. I'm bad at lying, hiding my feeling. It's shown up like an opened-book! Wish he never knew this, wish I could forget this. hush hush.



Only Hope - Mandy Moore

There's a song that's inside of my soul.
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold.
But you sing to me over and over and over again.

So, I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope.

Sing to me the song of the stars.
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again.
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again.

So I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I know now, you're my only hope.

I give you my destiny.
I'm giving you all of me.
I want your symphony, singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs, I'm giving it back.

So I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I pray, to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope.

Journal 14 : to finish

Mood : we-have-something-we-should-finish-right-now



Every one has something to smooth their wrecked-sense. And also for me.
Seeing his smile is one of my alternatives. hehe.

right now is very frustrating. have to finish PW, and my brain even haven't popped out any ideas!!! So, I hope by posting Kyu image, I would recover from my wrecked-sense. but, huuuu... maybe I need sleep more than his smile. so sorry, oppa.


wish me have a better luck for tonight. have to study Sosiologi and finish the PW. pop out pleaseee ideassss~ T________T



"Knowing is not enough, we must apply it. Willing is not enough, we must do it." --Bruce Lee

5.9.11

Journal 13 : to remember

ah, I forgot my latest post from 2010, List Post for 2011 , I promised to write some reviews, but I remember that I wrote those on my tumblr. If you want to find those reviews, maybe I should seek those because I'm not sure (that you and I can find it (by)) with the labels. Right now (11.25 p.m) I'm trying to find and copy it to this post. wish you guys want to read it although just want to take a look. It's okay for me.

If you have tumblr, make sure "love" it or reblog it. I'd be lovely. (am I going to be British?)

  1. The Woman Who Still Wants to Marry
  2. My Princess
  3. Secret Garden
  4. Dream High
  5. A Crazy Little Thing Called Love

LinkThese are my reviews during holiday, I thought that I have reviewed so many, but look like, no.
see you around

it's just a dream

it's just a dream,
that I should wake up

it's just a dream,
that I shouldn't continue it

it's just a dream,
that I shouldn't expect it too much

it's just a dream
that I wish it could be come true...

-at 11.03p.m, in my room with sleepy look.

Journal 12 : New Lesson, New Experience

Mood : so-so (not so-sro)


Hari ini dimulai pukul 8 pagi, saat sekolah masih libur dan kami mengenakan seragam sekolah, mengelilingi kota, sungguh dilirik setiap orang. Mewawancarai kepala bagian kepemudaan adalah agenda utama kami. Sungguh, sisanya mojok di KFC, pulangnya naik Trans ****(pengalaman pertama kali, dengan biaya Rp3000,00 kami bisa mengelilingi kota, sepanjang apapun rutenya. Asik kannnn? Lanjut mengerjakan PWC dengan segenap kebosanan dan ketidakyakinan akan keberhasilan. Semoga saja kami lolos. Aminnn, klo pun ngga ya pasrah aja. Huhuhu. T.T

Wawancara. Sungguh, lama banget nunggunya. Sembari menunggu selama 2 jam, saya melihat hal baru. Betapa miris, masuk kantor hanya buat online di Facebook, magang buat main games? Iri saya. Saat saya melihat Ayah saya dalam sulitnya mencari uang, justru mereka malah bersantai ria dalam seragam hijau mereka. Green-collar workers. Here, we said it green, not white, and still the other is blue-collar workers.

Pengalaman baru saya adalah menaiki bis antar kota pemerintah. Begitukan sebutan khususnya? Hehe. Asik, tapi rame dan bikin mabuk kendaraan. @______@

Melanjutkan PWC, kami malah asik berdiskusi politik ria. Ternyata, saya kurang mengenal dunia. Banyak hal-hal yang sudah lama terjadi, tapi saya baru tau sekarang. Ternyata saya kurang up-to-date. Harus banyak2 browsing nih. Hehehe.

Dannn, sepertinya kriminalitas makin marak di Indonesia, khususnya yang terjadi terhadap perempuan. Ada apa dengan para pria di Indonesia? Saya jadi merasa paranoid, hanya untuk sekedar keluar rumah. sigh. Harus mencari sesuatu untuk melindungi diri, atau pindah ke negara yang tingkat keamanan lumayan tinggi. Bukan tingkat kriminalitasnya. #sigh.

4.9.11

You won't be mine

I saw you at that time
and you know what?
my face is red like a tomato
my heart skip a beat
I realized that I'd loved you

but, you know what

at that time I know
that our fate is not same

even our path is different
and I know what should I do
to forget you...
that I realize,
you won't be mine

Journal 11 : Deadline!

Mood : hurry hurry~


OMIGOD! Why the deadline is so fast!! Don't come please!! Sept 9th, what should I do to you? Geez, I wish I could finish this PW, so I can live peacefully, without being ran after by the deadline..

But it's so difficult to manage my time, to keep everything work as it should be. this is killing me. urghhh.

Last night I got a heavy head-ache. Duh.

And I'm worried about my friend, should I bring him back his book? coz I realize that Wednesday we have Bahasa Indonesia and his book is with me now, and we have assignment that we must finish during this holiday. But, oh-no, this holiday will be ended at Sept 7th. *panic*

eottohke??

1.9.11

Journal 10 : Come to The Boredom

Mood : bored.


I'm desperately bored with this holiday... =_____________=

I have to go out from home, or I'll die of boredom.
I spent all my time during this holiday by playing The Sims Social in FB, writing in this blog, reading reviews on Goodreads (wish I could get the giveaway book)

Wish my Mom would allow me to go to Gramedia, so that I could buy those novels and comics I have been dreaming of.

wish I had finished my homework but the fact I even haven't touched it yet!! HAH! =_________=

wish my handphone will be repaired sooner.


and come again, bored.